Eternal Elegance

I think that's what I want to name my spa. With big, bold lettering on a fancy building with spinning doors to enter and a inviting wholesome atmosphere. I want it posh, big city, vintage, you walk in and think 1920's with the furniture and pictures. The scent will be inviting and take your breath away, so luxious and expensive yet has a tinge of composure either way your not messing with anything ordinary. Today I learned I want it all. Life has no limits, in the next few months I'm going to bust my ass. Make my money, get a second job, stop feeling sorry for myself, pick myself up, stop wasting my time, drop the people I waste my time on, stop feeling like I need someone to make me feel whole when all I need has already found me. I need to become less social in a good way, hide myself, stay away from family functions, (becuase I fucking hate them) I kind of want to change my cell phone number, maybe get a new phone, becuase I hate my new one, I just really want to erase some people, although you cant get rid of them forever but a new phone would be nice and nothing expensive just something different, find inspriation in life, start taking care of myself which includes healthy eating habits, learning how to cook, helping around the house and get out of my rut. I've found myself unhappy, when I'm unhappy I leave myself a mess, my room, and my life. Another problem I have is when I'm unhappy with myself I sleep. Sleeping relaxes me, I stress far too easily in life, when things dont go my way I get so angry and my face breaks out and I blame other people and I rant like I'm doing now. I also find myself giving into not the norm because it makes me feel like I matter, like my morals go out the door and I try to hard for somenthing/someone and clearly I know my worth this ain't no dime peice or some half black jean half cheetah bullshit. This is the real deal. In the words of Rasheeda " I'm concieted I got a reason". People dont understand why I am so concieted and they think I'm full of myself or bitchy but if you were in my coach shoes you would understand why. I think I just really need to reset my goals and honestly re-vamp my lifestyle. It will take time but, it something I need to start now.